debate exposes doubt |
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what we place most hopes upon,
generally proves most fatal.
- the vicar of wakefield 
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Friday, March 19, 2004
THE M WORD
but the most intriguing and though proviking article in the whole magazine was at the very end - it was an essay tittled "WHY THE M WORD MATTERS TO ME" by Andrew Sullivan - it spoke about growing up in a conservative catholic family and how those beliefs were impressed upon him - most importantly it was thought to him that the most important thing in his life was not graduation or going to college or even his childrens birth....but getting married - thinking for a bit at how that ideal is pressed into the American way of life - i believe that the author has a very poinient arrgument - most families stress important things like togeatherness and love in a family setting - we grow up with the sights and sounds of our parents togeather and weddings embed our youths as we see and hear about couples taking the ultimate stance in love and go before a collection of their friends and family and get recognized by the government of the united states as a collective unit of two - and not two singular entities - the point IS being missed by all those ultra conservative religious freaks who deem gay and lesbians as less then human - we are told from the start of our social consciousness that this is what a marriage is - it is love between two people - but that we can have it - gays and lesbians can't have it - we aren't good enough to have the right to be married - we can't be like our parents - or our friends - we aren't good enough to have it - - - i became so engrossed in this article that by the time i finished reading it i was put into a very angry mood - i'm not a political person and i really am not one to go out and get into some movement - i just do not want to be in the lime light - but after reading this essay all i wanted to do was go and yell at someone for making this happen - i kept thinking of the people in my life who would not approve of gay marriage - its sad how closed minded people are in the world - as i thought about it even more i got more and more upset - i will never know what it will be like to be married or to even have a husband - its so completely stupid how things work out - not that i could even have anyone to be with - simply because where i live does not have civil rights protection on employment for homosexuals - so i simple couldn't live with a man i love because we could both lose our jobs - that night i was a bit saddened and pissed - i think acouple kids got the brent of it when i heard there "oh sorry for me" stories about how they are upset cause they couldn't have an extra snack - i just so happened to go back to the eye doctor with child yesterday and i was put in the same room that i had left the magazine in - i picked it up and read it again and though abut some things that had been going through my mind - i feel bad for us - as a whole - we are such a minority because some of us can't even be heard - we have ne real hope of ever winning this fight - i applaude the people so far that have stood up for equal rights for everyone reguardless of any criteria - they are making a difference -
Thursday, March 04, 2004
I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY...
and the more i think about this i really think there is no reason for me to do this - i mean - who reads it - i guess my friends - it was a little bit for them to be able to see what was going on in my life - but i guess none of them read it - so it is pointless then - or do i really want to continue this for myself - i mean i guess i could keep on writing things in here - i do have my own personal journal i do write in so i guess it would be a little bit unnecessary for me to write in this too - isn't it - i mean do i really need to continue to do this for myself -
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