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Sunday, March 30, 2003
obsticle 2
I'm gonna pull you in close
I'm gonna wrap you up tight
I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight
I'm gonna hold your face, and toast the snow that fell
Cuz friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell
I feel like love is in the kitchen with a culinary eye
I think he's making something special
And I'm smart enough to try
If you don't trust yourself for at least one minute each day,
Well you should trust in this, girl, cuz loving is coming our way.
If you can fix me up we'll go a long way
If you can fix me up, girl, we'll go a long way.
(Take my love in real small doses.)
I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days
It takes a long time just to get this all straight.
I'll showcase on Route 7 when I find the right place
It takes a long time just to get this all straight
In my mind, this is my free-time
Cuz friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell.
(Take my love in real small doses)
I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days
But I've spent a long time corresponding in my own way.
I'll showcase on Route 7 when I find the right place
But it takes a long time just to get this all straight
In my mind, this is my free time...
To let it all away
Spend it all today
Spend it all today
It took time then I found you.
interpol
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tonight black hearts pictures go up - i am working on them now -
posted by Scott at 3/30/2003 04:36:00 PM
Saturday, March 29, 2003
MOVING DAY, MOVING DAY - ITS TIME TO FIND A NEW HOME
in some other news - my mother recently told me that if i can get a job in the end of may in sioux city - she wants me to move back there and take it asap - which is a good idea - to get a job before anyone else is looking - which i don't think will be that much of a huge problem - there are lots of social service jobs around - and even if that doesn't pan out - there are some other retail and stupid little jobs that i know i could do - so i am not to worried about that right off hand - but the other thing - i really wanted to spend this summer with the kids in ames - jennifer, and liz, on the beach - recing and french fries with stina - daily life with dan - seth and julie at the bar - it would be lots of fun - and i would love it so much - but i guess i do really need to decided what is best for me to do - stay in ames and have fun - or go home and get a job - which is quite a stupid question really - i know what i need - the job is more important economically - but ames is more important socail and emotionally - i am already dreading the loss of the kids - what do i do when they are actually gone - and i am gone - system shock - it will be hard and confusing - but it is something that i have to do - and i know i have to do it - i have to go out there and find my life now - i am ready for it - here it goes - as for right now - i think i will be leaving in may - to go home and start a job - it is better this way - better for me -and better for everything - there are so many things i am gonna miss - about ames - the community itself is really great - everyone is really friendly and all my friends are here - i have memories all over this town - 230 campus - 519 welch - 6th ave. - the 630 - there are so many places that i have wonderful memories and it kills me to think that i am moving on now and starting a new life - it is scary - but i know i need to do this - for myself - to make things better in my life - i will move - i will stay at home till i find a place to live and then i will be in my own world - in my own house - and i will be happy - well hopefully - that is the goal -
posted by Scott at 3/29/2003 01:47:00 PM
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
RECENT ISSUES CAUSE NEW FOUND CURRIOSITY
something interesting - and actually something that is a very good thing - as martha would say - its a good thing - and damn is it - but anyway - the x is out tonight - and so far he is not coming home - and dare i say it - i think it is a grand thing - he was out last night too - but he came home - anway - point being that - it is really nice to finally see him out doing something - when he is out doing somthing he is not here sitting around all moapy and gloomy - i mean shit that is my job as the resident depressive - but seriously - it is good that he is out doing something - anything - cause the more he sits at home and thinks - the more things will continue to remain the same - so he went out last night - and then today and then tonight - great - he is out - with friends - doing something - which is great - hell - who knows what he is doing - but man it is great that he is out doing something - having fun - meeting guys and maybe even getting alittle - woo hoo for the x -
posted by Scott at 3/26/2003 02:58:00 AM
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLED TIMES WE ARE SPENDING
why can't there be 30 hours in a day - i could really use the extra five hours - i actually could really use about 10 extra hours in my day - but hell that is not gonna happen - mother nature has been against me from the beginning - stupid woman - well actually man is responsible for the number of hours in the day - the ancient roman and myan calanders alowed for time - remember the sundial everyone - when you had to go to a large triangular slab sticking out of the ground to see the time - and myans - well who cares about them - but i really need more time - i have two large projects to do which i have not quite yet begun - shit - one i need to even collect data for - which i am not even sure what i am gonna do it on - i have some old data i think i will shuffel through and see what i can come up with - i think i should be able to get something out of it - god the next few weeks will be long and hard - ugh - and then also i still have some projects and tests to do and then always some other things - there is always something - but thank god i am going to graduate here this summer - no more school for atleast a bit of time - atleast a year - of just working would be good - while talkin a night class i think would be ok - but nothing full time - only work and me and friends - that is all - good - in some other news - i found out last night at my x has a new blog - oh oh oh - and he never told me what its address is - oh can you imagine the wonderful thing that are written about me in that blog - i am sure it is just dripping with poison - and eh - in all actuality - i really don't even care to read it - why should i - he has what he has - and that is it - he can do whatever he wants with it - write all the bad things about me in the world - i guess i don't care anymore - funny uh - it is wrong i think to think this way - but i really am at no advantage of reading it - it would only make me mad no doubt - so i will not worry about it at all - yes - i am care free - well not totally - but mostly - oh well - i think that it is good for him to have an outlet - alright so something else real quick - so when did the real world show turn into a sleazy sex show - seriously - i remember when there were people who didn't look like models on the show - remember the second and third season - the whole miami cast - even though dan is a model - i don't think he looks that good - but now there are all these skinny anorexic chicks with perfect everything and messed up heads dancing and sleeping with their male counterparts who are all large bodied, hunky all american boy looking individuals - seriously - the real world has gone from the experiment that was the real world to the now ultra fake image is everything real world where beauty is seemingly everything and what was real is nothing - i can't even look nor watch it anymore - it is just dumb - anymore - lets go get drunk and then try to sleep with our roommates - oh god this is dumb - steven is trying to get this guy to date the ultra stupid and quite flytie terschelle by saying - she doesn't deserve me - she needs someone who will not treat her like a peice of meat - we just don't click - i tried to like her - but it is not working out - cause i just want sex - wow such poetic wonder - what can i say - why wouldn't i want to date a girl after an intro like that - oh god -
posted by Scott at 3/25/2003 07:11:00 PM
Monday, March 24, 2003
illness strikes
i am feeling horrible today - i kinda slept a little bad last night cause of a stomach ache - and now today i am just blah - completely three sheets to the wind - i feel really bad - kinda like i could get sick at any moment - even thought i know i won't - i just feel like i could - and my stomach still hurts - and i have a huge headache - and just a plain sick feeling - it is not good - i should see a doctor - but i won't i think that i will wait it out and see if i get any better - i took some dayquil - which should make me feel even more tired - even though it shouldn't - oh hell i just need to get to sleep - this is too much for me - i need to get better soon -
posted by Scott at 3/24/2003 04:20:00 PM
SOMETIMES IT JUST HURTS TOO MUCH TO CARE ABOUT EVERYONE
so i took this quiz on which anti-care bare i am - funny i didn't realize that they were making such a huge comeback until i saw the ben of three foot care bares at walmart - i am not sure what to think about this - although - the thought of using one as a body pillow is rather intreging to me - anyway - here are my results -
Nihilist Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
posted by Scott at 3/24/2003 02:56:00 AM
Monday, March 17, 2003
TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE - OR ATLEAST SENIC MURDERVILLE
so in my vain attempt to find something to do tonight i went up to the city to go walking with chad - and actually had a fantastic time in the process - really - what can i say - there is something about walking thought a rape park - then a classy district - downtown and then murderville that really gets me going - but anyway - i actually had a really good time - who knew - well it was actually me chad and brandon - who i thought hated me - but apparently he does not - great - but i think chris hates me - and why not - it is that three week progression right - i swear this is going on a cycle - i think it might be - hmm....somthing to look into - for the future -
posted by Scott at 3/17/2003 02:00:00 AM
Saturday, March 15, 2003
GHOSTS OF THE PAST WEAR BLACK
coming soon to the sister site of this page are the BLACK HEARS VALENTINES MASACRE SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR photos - which as i look through them are pretty good if i don't say so myself - i believe there are a total of 15 or so for all you lucky two people who tend to actually look at them and not just see them because your browser accidently took you there by mistake - but they will be up here - the wasteland duex and you can follow the BLACK HEARST link to the pics -
posted by Scott at 3/15/2003 12:21:00 PM
THINKING IS THE COLLEGE BOYS TROUBLE
so i am pleased to report that i got option number one in the previous blog - it is nice and when i sleep i hold it tight - cause i can't hold him now - thanks for that i guess - well atleast i have something to hold -
posted by Scott at 3/15/2003 12:19:00 PM
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
THINKING ONLY CAUSES PROBLEMS - IT'S BEST NOT TO THINK
oh my god - i am supposeidly getting a package here tomorrow - but i am so nervous about it i want it now - who is it from you ask - well the boy i am kinda seeing -he told me on sunday morning that he was sent me something - and then since that time he has kinda danced around the issue - he plays coy and says - 'who is sending you something?' - 'it is not me' - ah - what do i do - so i am completely nervous about this - well nevrous/excited - i can't even imagine what he would be sending me - well i guess i do have a short list of what it could be -
what could scott receive in the mail come wednesday?
1.pillow covers - this is the number one choice because it is somethign we talked about a day before he told me i was receiving something - origionally we were looking for some bedding for him and i ran over to
the bedding that i have and showed him what i sleep on - (except that stupid looking little 'N' pillow - and the white comfortor - i have a navy one) what i didn't have are the white pillow with blue around the outside or some ones that look like tha but are red on the outside - and i think he might be sending me those -
2.a gift i gave him - this is also a highly contending choice - i know he is slightly worried about the distance between us - and he has commented on that before - and once he even - when we were going though a tough time - tried to send me back something that i gave him for a christmas gift - but i told him i didn't want it cause it was a gift - he may have gotten a wild hair and decided it was better if i got those back - i sincerely hope not -
3.he mentioned once that he was going to come to ames and visit his sister - well she lives in des moines - but he mentioned that he wanted to see her - so it might be just a letter saying that he is coming down and he wants to go out - like a surprise - cause i have been trying for sometime to get him to visit - but my roommate/ex who is still in love with me has said no about that - oh well i guess -
4.lastly - i guess it coudl just be a letter - saying either that i am happy with you - or i am not happy with you - i would kill to have one that says - i am in love with you - but i think that might not happen - but who knows - i guess anything positive would be good -
- god i am such an idiot for making this into such a big deal - but i guess that - it is a big deal - cause it can be bad OR good - and i am really hoping it is good - he told me a while ago that he was happy - so i guess that i think we are - and i hope we are - so i guess we'll just have to wait till wednesday to see what happens - there will deffinetly be a large post about it - until then - must keep myself occupied -
posted by Scott at 3/11/2003 12:54:00 PM
Sunday, March 09, 2003
AN UNMORAL JUDGEMENT
so to follow up on something that i touched on one other time - i was talking breifly about the death of a friend who shot himself - well come to find out that the landlords won't let the remaining tennents out of their lease - and worse they are making my friends also pay the dead roommates share of the rent - i guess i could see if he made them stay there but dropped the deceaseds rent form the lease - but making them pick up the slack is just wrong - it is a horrible unmoral decision that really makes you think about the type of people in the world - what do we value - morality or money - i think we all know the answer to that -
EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES CAUSE TROUBLE WITH LEASES
posted by Scott at 3/09/2003 04:21:00 PM
RESPONDING TO BIGOTRY
after reading a horrible opinion peice some bitch in south dakota wrote i have decided to lift up a pen and strike back with ample force -the opinion peice which is written about a senetor and his support of anti-gay and lesbian legislature - more specifically - he is supporting a bill that would ban gays and lesbians from being foster and adoptive parents to children - now this pisses me off - i work in an Abused Womans Shelter and i have seen first hand numerous children that have whitnessed the shit being kicked out of their moms by their dads - and those are model american families - true that it is not the woman fault - but she would rather have children in those homes other then a home of say two men or women who are lovingly commited to each other - that is ludacris - so i have now posted what i have written so far - i plan to revise it acouple more times and submit it on tuesday - any comments would be welcome and appreciated - i'm off to fight the good fight - and i thought i was so lazy -
After reading an opinion piece written by a seemingly miss lead person from Mc.Cook Lake I was forced by my own morality to write in. That people only will see and read such a bigoted piece of propaganda is utterly disgusting.
The idea that you would keep two loving people from caring for a child is stupid. Recalling my work in a battered woman's shelter, I particularly remember lots of traditional family households where children had witnessed the ongoing physical and psychological abusing of their mothers. And you dare to say this type of environment would be better for children then a house of say two men or women who love and care for each other and that child. You saying that, "You dare not place innocent children in harm's way" is completely inane considering innocent children are BORN into households like that everyday in this country. I ask myself would you consider caring for an orphaned child who witnessed his mother getting beat or perhaps just a child whom no one wanted? Why stop a gay or lesbian family for caring for that child when so many others would not even dare to lift a finger for them. The only thing you are concerned with is keeping down a segment of the population that you are scared of, just as narrow minded people did in the earlier part of the last century with the segregation of whites and blacks.
I hate to inform you Mrs. Gaul but we 'homosexuals' are human beings. We have the same blood and tissue as you do. We breathe the same air as you and stand beside you in the supper market. We will have our rights one-day. We will be allotted the same fundamental rights as you have been granted, that our forefathers founded this country on.
me
posted by Scott at 3/09/2003 04:16:00 PM
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
more to come soon - i swear - and promise - i have just been so busy reconstructing my life - i have had no time - but love to you all!
posted by Scott at 3/05/2003 02:40:00 AM
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